Why adults have affairs?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from old ages. Affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, money, age difference, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating for married.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are people seeking affairs. I think mainly though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to switch the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, enormous really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, usually the gentleman is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is disappeared, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just grown separately, our relulas concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair